scarlettfangell:

youredarrenfreakingpotter:

My dad would tell me that when we were little and people would say to him “wow, four daughters, that’s a lot of weddings to pay for” (because traditionally the bride’s family would pay for the wedding), my dad would respond with “well, we’re hoping at least one of them will be gay so we can split the cost with the other bride’s family”
He said people never knew how to respond

Best. Dad. Ever.

(via americum-beauty)

the-present-moral-decay:

grawly:

geminicreations:

i think this may just be the greatest string of tweets in the history of mankind

TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST I REMEMBER EVERYTHING BUT READING THESE TWEETS AGAIN AFTER SO MANY MONTHS IT ALMOST FEELS SURREAL LIKE “I CANT BELIEVE THIS PERSON IS ME”

at least you went to the doctors, there was a guy who died because he had a dildo stuck up his ass

@daisymerolliinn vs @salutdemisaveme

the-present-moral-decay:

anagramatron:



Fuuuccckkkkkk

elmntry:

im sick of the lies

(via captainnflowers)

motdef:

i wonder how much longer i have before it’s completely impossible for me to google information pertaining to my degree

(via moistclumping)

150dollars:

kissedbyatroll:

I love how he just catches her

i love how he did what he was supposed to do. i love how he didn’t powerbomb her through the ice and smash her spine into several pieces. i ship it.

150dollars:

kissedbyatroll:

I love how he just catches her

i love how he did what he was supposed to do. i love how he didn’t powerbomb her through the ice and smash her spine into several pieces. i ship it.

(via moistclumping)

nonespark:

A STREAKER CUT THE ACTUAL CONTESTANT OFF AND BLEW THROUGH IT LIKE HE’S SONIC THE FUCKING HEDGEHOG WHAT THE FUCK

nonespark:

A STREAKER CUT THE ACTUAL CONTESTANT OFF AND BLEW THROUGH IT LIKE HE’S SONIC THE FUCKING HEDGEHOG WHAT THE FUCK

(via moistclumping)

punkemojis:

american horror story: america

(via embermage)

denchguy:

thank you

denchguy:

thank you

image

(via americum-beauty)

lions-and-snails:

well, you always liked causing me pain didn’t you? you always like to hear me say “please stop doing that”. you always liked to see my tears.

so why should I be so surprised that you’ve uploaded another video when you KNOW how hurtful it is to me.

guess what Ed, I’m still gonna take you down at trial. 👌